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The longer you look, the stranger it gets.

It was an endless field of flowers, bright and soft and invigorating. Flowers that none could name existed here, sometimes for just a few minutes. To walk through the field, to feel the delicate petals on your bare feet and to brush your hands against the ephemeral blooms was the best of sensations. Every breath was more uplifting than the last as the scent, never irritating even to the most sensitive nose, ever shifted into new and exquisite perfumes. The entire place seems to fill your vision with ever shifting riots of colour. The blues and yellows formed a mellow contrast to the snaking blooms of orange and red which wove there way through the pattern as you watched, as if the colours themselves were alive. All the little details becoming more intricate with every moment.

Keep looking.

Thick petaled poppy like flowers would pull themselves up and raise their heads towards the suns, after a moment’s effort the bloom would pull itself off the stalk and then flitter away like a butterfly, it would probably not be long before it found a flutter of others like it. Though some never do.

You then notice a gleam in the air. Slowly falling snowflakes from somewhere within a cloudless sky. As you feel them fall on your bare skin you realise that the tiny, glass patterns are not cold, but just refreshingly tingly as they melt on your skin. You look up and see the suns. They mirror the flowers in both their colours and the erraticness. They bloom and fade in the sky and their lights add to the subtle, every changing pastels around you. You realise your eyesight has never been so sharp and you walk on, eager to drink in the continuously evolving detail of this strange new world.

***********************************

“This way! This way!” Tryst shouted as she flittered as fast as her ‘wings’ could carry her. She was, for want of a better word, a fairy. Vaguely humanoid in shape but only twelve inches high, she half ran, half flew. Ankle deep in the flower field whenever she touched the ground.

Tiny green shoots sprouted and writhed from her spine and some how pulled her through the air. Her hair hung in locks of ivy and her diamond eyes shone with bright potential. A circle of moonlight surrounded her, giving her a shadowless perfection that some people might find unnerving.

“I’m coming. Though I’m not sure it came this way anyway.” That was Knock. He looked completely different from Tryst, his form was a dozen different shades of brown and red, all the colours of autumn. Cobwebs trailed behind him, somehow acting to keep him aloft above the flowers and tiny suns around him cast him in a perpetual sunset glow

“It’s here. Soar is never wrong about these things and she said it was heading for the fruit tree.”

“I have no idea why you’re bothering, it’ll be gone before we make it. Those guys never stay here long.” Knock was always like this. His horizons had never been very broad. Tryst didn’t even know why he’d bothered to come along.

“Eh” she waved away his objection “go back and practice your Thorndance, like a good little royal guard. Some of us have no time for pessimism.” Knock never knew why she was like this. She was one of the most naturally talented Thorndancers he’d ever seen, but she would rather chase myths than protect a queen. It was quite the waste.

“I just don’t know why we always have to chase after every rumour about…”

“Shhh” She cut him off with a word and dived into the flowers. Following her lead he made himself small. Fairies were usually quite innocuous, only in this place could they stride around like a human might.

“Is that it?” he whispered. She looked back at him and shrugged

“Let’s get closer” she reached back and clasped his hand but he hung back “C’mon. It’s an adventure.” And with her goading he dimmed his glow and moved with her through the ever changing undergrowth.

************************************

After walking for a length of time you reach a tree. It’s about twice as tall as you are. Its leaves are the colours of all leaves everywhere and its braches are heavy with fruit. The sweet scent of the wood and the fruit brushes against the edge of your senses and it draws you nearer. You reach for one of the branches when a thought hits you. Are you even allowed to be here? This place, this world between worlds, is quite unlike your own. Are you allowed to eat from this tree? Will there be any cost?

Your ever heightening senses detect a movement behind you, even though you do not hear a noise. You turn afraid of retribution but you see nothing, just endless fields of everything.

You take a few steps away from the tree and look around the flowers. For the first time, you see smaller flowers between the more obvious ones. Tiny, intricate things whose details tickle your senses. A moment later you see something else.

************************

It was looking their way.

“Keep quiet Tryst, those things are dangerous.” Knock actually had to hold her back to keep her from getting closer to the thing.

“I think it’s hungry.” She said, completely failing to listen to him.

“All the more reason to stay here then. It might try to eat us.” Neither of them had ever left this place.

“Maybe it can’t reach. I hear those things can’t fly.”

“That’s its problem. Come on, we’ve seen it now. Let’s get out of here.”

“I thought you were supposed to be brave.” She paused in thought. “I’m going to help it.”

“No, wait…” But she slipped out his grip in a moment and he could only watch as she moved away.

****************************

The movement catches your eye immediately. Its springs from amongst the flowers and through the crystalline air. It moves so fast you barely track it. Before you can react it’s standing before you, suddenly increasing many times in size.

It’s taller than you. It’s a woman but not a human, you realise that. Her hair is black and her skin is so pale it’s almost reflective. Her clothes are strange; you get the impression of shining armour hidden under layers of tangled plants. The many different shapes of leaves hang down from her were like ivy but nowhere near as uniform. Six or more vines hovered behind her, as if sprouting from her back.

You realise she is like this place, the longer you look the more detail you take in. The leaves she wears have an almost carved quality, like someone took the time to craft them and score intricately patterned grooves on each leaf. Her legs are long and her feet are bare, like yours, except hers are not touching the floor.

She floats towards you slowly, her delicate hands raised in conciliation. Her face is strangely angular, like it is outlined with hard edges, but there are no such edges in her features. She looks young but you can not be sure. Her eyes are large and diamond shaped, with a strange colour to them that you can’t quite remember the name of. But they are deep and rich and inquisitive.

She circles you keeping her hands up, smiling sweetly. You notice a glow around her entire body for the first time, which somehow seems to sooth you. She makes it to the tree and reaches into the tree, glancing up only as much as is necessary.

She pulls a fruit down and grasps it in both hands. She raises it to her mouth and, with wonderfully pointed teeth, takes a bite from it. Droplets of juice sparkle in the sun and you feel envious just looking at it.

She broadens her smile and holds out the fruit, offering it to you. You step closer and look again at her, trying to decide if you trust her. Her expression is earnest and not a little nervous. You see for the first time the vines and leaves covering her body are moving slowly, as if they were continuously growing and rearranging. You could have found this disconcerting but you don’t.

You reach over, trying not to touch those fragile little hands. She gives you the fruit and you raise it to your mouth. It smells wonderful, and you take a bite, as if out of instinct.

It tastes like all the good things you have ever eaten, yet none of the flavours clash or conflict. There is sweetness, more subtle than you can believe, to remind you that you are eating a fruit. You smile despite your nerves as you feel the juices run down your chin. And you laugh when you see the woman smiling back at you, pleased that you’ve enjoyed her gift.

You mistakenly believe that you will never forget this moment.

She looks like she’s ready to laugh but instead she places her hand on her chest and speaks. You can tell she is speaking because she moves her mouth, but the words sound strange. Like music in another language. You realise instantly that she is saying her name.

In response you raise your arm and put it to your chest and say your name. The noise sounds harsh somehow in this place and the woman’s features set in concentration. She then speaks again, this time the noise is far more familiar. For though it’s in a strange, wordless harmony you recognise it instantly as your own name. You could not think of a nicer gift than to hear your name sung this way.

As if to answer, the keening sound of a horn echoes from far away.

Another movement next to you and you turn to see a man. He is taller still than the woman and his hair and clothes are the colour of autumn leaves. You cannot take the details of him in quick enough though as he moves to grab the woman’s arm. Trying  to keep himself between you and her.

She waves to you with her free arm. You wave back without thinking, and then they dived into the flowers, shrinking away from you in a moment.

Something about the horn tells you that its time to go.

It’s even easier to leave than to get there. And when you get back, you pass off the faded half-memories and swirling colours as the remnants of a dream. Still, it’s a dream that makes you happier, although you don’t know why.

*************************************

“You’re mad” Knock finally got time to chastise Tryst when they got home.

“Uh huh.” She had been uncharacteristically quiet since her encounter. Knock had never seen her so deep in thought before. She was sat down now, her glow flaring and fading as emotions warred inside her. He tried making conversation anyway.

“Lance has led a hunt for the intruder. I hope for your sake it isn’t caught, it might reveal that you… what were you doing with it anyway?”

Tryst broke out of her revelry and smiled. “I was just making a friend. They’re fascinating aren’t they? So… enigmatic.” She stood at that point and nodded, as if she’d just decided something. “I’m leaving Knock. I’m going on an adventure.”

“What? You can’t do that! Tryst we’re lucky to be here. We don’t have to leave.”

“So you’re not coming then?” she said, half surprised half shocked. She took his hand. “Oh come on Knock. Let’s adventure.” As she spoke she spun, as if dancing with him, pirouetting under his arm. “Let go out into the worlds and find new places to explore and new people to talk to. Then when we come back here, we’ll be even better dancers, even greater than we are now.” She locked eyes with him and within he saw something that he hadn’t seen for along time.

He gritted his teeth but he knew that he couldn’t dissuade her once she got like this. “Fine, I’ll go with you. But I refuse to enjoy it.” She smiled wider at this. He didn’t want to go but he had to. After all, he couldn’t bear to lose her.

And that was how they came to leave the fairy realm. Just a glimpse of an otherworldly being was all it took to make them chase adventure. They would go on to see and do many wondrous things but they would always remember that strange creature that inspired it all; you.
:iconcilin-hopchurch:

Author's Comments

Im not sure why i wrote this.

;)

Comments


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:iconcloudtographer:
I like this; the beginning makes me think of a living rainbow, of sorts.

On to critique. Three things.

1) I'm not sure I like the change in tense (meaning, you use names for the fairies but not for the human). I'd rather the same form of narration was used for both.

2) "the tiny, glass patterns are not cold, but just refreshingly tingly." Most writing books warn about adverbs, and this is a good example of why. You can eliminate them but keep the base word by just rearranging a bit, for example, "the tiny, glass patterns are not cold; they tingle and refresh."

3) "As she spoke she span, as if dancing with him, pirouetting under his arm." This one is easy, just a misspelling of spun. :P

:)

--
"...the great tragedy of the world is not that people suffer, but how much they miss when they suffer. Nothing is quite as depressing as wasted pain, agony without an ultimate meaning or purpose." ~Fulton Sheen
:icondeadrosebud:
I really like your description, it's very rich and fits the fairy theme extremely well.

Just a few things I noticed.

"The entire place seemed to fill your vision"
Tiny typo.

"The leaves she wares" should be wears.

"her entire boy for the first time" body.

Also I'm not too sure on the tense changes but it could work if you're set on that format. :)

--
Dead Is The New Alive
:iconcilin-hopchurch:
Good eye. Fixed those typos. Even though i know the difference my typing hands never seem to get the whole your/you're thing. (and don't get me started on theirs... :P)

The tense thing I know seems strange. After all, noone writes stories in the second person and for good reasons. But i did this for two reasons: 1) Because i hadn't done it before and 2)i hoped that by writing the human part in an odd tense and the fairie part in a regular tense it would make the change in perspectives a bit more bracing. To highlight the strangness of the surroundings to the visitor. Whether it works is a matter for debate...

Thanks for your help.
:icondeadrosebud:
No worries. I know strange tenses can work in some instances and if they're done for good reasons. :)

--
Dead Is The New Alive
:iconqueen-of-marigold:
The first workshop entry I've read and wow, what a beautifully descriptive piece. You created a very vivid image of the beautiful fairy field, and I liked the second-person perspective too.

When it comes to description, the biggest thing to be careful of is using too many adjectives. Of course this sounds like a contradiction when we all know that the point of an adjective is to describe something, however the more of them you use, the less effective they become.

Also, beware of using the same phrases, particularly when they are unusal terms that you will recognise. For example, in the first paragraph you have this sentence:
Every breath was more uplifting than the last as the scent, never irritating even to the most sensitive nose, ever shifted into new and exquisite perfumes. The entire place seems to fill your vision with ever shifting riots of colour.
Can you see the repeated phrase I'm talking about? It stands out and breaks the flow of reading, and this breaks the illusion.

The other thing I'd like to talk about is your dialogue (even though that isn't technically the focus of this workshop!). Not only does a new speaker need to be placed on a new line, but so does the text that follows the dialogue.
So this segment...

“So you’re not coming then?” she said, half surprised half shocked. She took his hand. “Oh come on Knock. Let’s adventure.” As she spoke she spun, as if dancing with him, pirouetting under his arm. “Let go out into the worlds and find new places to explore and new people to talk to. Then when we come back here, we’ll be even better dancers, even greater than we are now.” She locked eyes with him and within he saw something that he hadn’t seen for along time.

Should probably be a little more like...

“So you’re not coming then?” she said, half surprised half shocked. She took his hand. "Oh come on Knock. Let’s adventure.”
As she spoke she spun, as if dancing with him, pirouetting under his arm.
“Let go out into the worlds and find new places to explore and new people to talk to. Then when we come back here, we’ll be even better dancers, even greater than we are now.”
She locked eyes with him and within he saw something that he hadn’t seen for along time.


Keep this in mind, particularly when your scenes have a mix of dialogue and action.

ANYWAY!

Thank you forentering and thank you showing me the fairy field :D
If you have any questions about anything I've said, or even in general, definitely let me know.

--
"Come my friends, 'tis not too late to seek a newer world." -- Tennyson

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February 20
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